CAN I JUST SCREAM?
It's not even funny how much I've missed this blog. I know I posted twice in May (Ithink?), but that's pretty bad according to me. I like to get at least two posts up every week and because I was busy with le internship, I couldn't pull out time for the blog. The thing is, during college, I always try and make time for the blog, but during the internship it was another story. Considering it was a newspaper, the timings are obviously not normal so I could never make a schedule. Of course given the fact that I could not sacrifice my sleep because it would lead to unbearable migraines which I cannot deal with while out on assignment - it was pretty much impossible to blog.
But I must say that being away has showed me how much I love it. I will truly always come back here because I can rant on, not worry about how stupid I sound etc etc. Of course shooting for the blog was thoroughly missed too.
Moral of the story: I miss my blog and now I'm back.
Which brings me to another aspect of my thoughts. During this internship, I've had crazy rough times, but amazingly beautiful ones as well. It has been a mixed bag, but I've surely taken a lot out of it and had many realizations as well. When I chose arts, my relatives (extended family) were pretty skeptical because I was the first person in my entire family to be doing something like that. Of course later when I chose to do communication studies the skepticism increased - NO ONE HAD EVEN THOUGHT OF DOING THIS FIELD in the family before. While my parents and brother were with me through and through in this, my relatives just nodded and secretly wondered if I'd end up lost.
I don't really know the end, but I know that after they saw my articles in the newspaper, after they saw me running around, I saw the gleam in their eyes. They know too, now, that I'm in the field I love. I'm doing communication studies because it's something I've envisioned myself doing for the longest time and it's where I belong.
There are times when I'll probably cry and say how much I hate everything and even "I don't belong", but everyone goes through those times and it's all thanks to that overly emotional-hormonal-brain of ours that we slur weird things. But at the end of the day, I wake up feeling happy that I didn't give in to the herd mentality and choose science or commerce, only because I can be an engineer or an accountant and be supposedly 'secured' my entire life (I do know a lot of people who chose these fields for the love of it, but I know way too many people who are doing it because their PARENTS or FAMILY told them to).
I don't want to be assured of being secure. I don't want that guaranteed stability. I want to find out my path myself, I want to be lost and drag myself back to follow my dreams, I want to be confused and finally figure it out myself, I want to know that I might be unemployed so I'll have to work hard, I want to feel that everything in life isn't easy and work for what I have, I want to write till I die, I want to do so many things...but I wouldn't have, had I made the wrong choice.
Today, I just want to say thanks for being with me. You, and everyone else.
Thank you because you have been there supporting me, through all of this.
[THAT WAS SOME SENTI-EMOTIONAL-WHATEVER-TALKING HUH? Well, a girl has gotta say what she has to, right?]
Necklace: Stalkbuylove, Beanie and socks: American Apparel, Button up dress and Floral skirt: Unknown, Bangles and ring: Thrifted
Cycle: Randomly found sitting artistically on the road.
On my lips: Addis Ababa by NYX
On my eyes: Maybelline colour palette, Colossal kajal
P.S: SUMMER IS ALMOST OVER IN BANGALORE. THE RAINS ARE HERE.
1) Ecstatic because no more sweaty weather, I can bring out the full sleeved clothes.
2) Disgusted because lots of dirty puddles and disgusting vehicle drivers splashing muddy water on you - is here.