Friday, May 4, 2012

Where are we actually living?


Everyday we meet so many people intentionally or unintentionally, we go to so many places, we gain plenty experiences. What's surprising is that everything has double standards. Walk into a shopping street/market dressed in bright hues and jazzy colours because you like them and people can't take their eyes off you. Walk into a mall, air-conditioned, with branded stores and uber urban society and you still get stares if you are donning a statement necklace or high heeled shoes.

You may say that everyone has a freedom to look, but how much is too much? Yes, some of us like to dress up and come summer we like to wear bright vibrant colours, maybe on and off we'd like wedges and maybe even glossy lips, but why should it matter to the passerby, or the so called on looker? I have often experiences un-comforting stares not only the boys but also the girls. I even remember once, this girl called for her entire family who was walking in front of her and told them to look at me. I almost felt like waving to them, pretending to be a celebrity. After all, all of them turning their heads and staring at me as I strut across shop to shop ignoring and positively accepting these glances.

Dress appropriate to the occasion/location is something everyone often says. But who defines what's appropriate. Isn't it subjective? A matter of personal opinion? Maybe to me, party wear would mean a dress, high-heeled shoes and make up, but maybe to another it means saree and a shawl. Everyone defines appropriateness in their own senses, then how is it fair to say that someone is not dressed appropriate or give some such looks that they feel like they've committed a crime.

Do we truly have freedom in this democratic country of ours? Where I reside, Bangalore is one of the more developed cities and if this is the condition here then I couldn't imagine what it would be in some rural areas where anyone dressed differently is an alien. I've heard from some of my friends that in many cities, they aren't even allowed to wear jeans. Yes, its culture, and I respect it, but I believe that culture is more choice than compulsion or have things changed? If someone feels comfortable in jeans why should they be banned from wearing it? Why should they undergo mental torture and non-acceptance from the society for something that's just a matter of like and dislike?

Experiences aren't few, in fact they are plenty. I could talk an entire day about all these varied experiences I've had, and maybe I will. I'm pretty sure that many other people face similar issues. Fellow fashion bloggers and people who like to dress up, are you willing to let go of your style to prevent these continued looks from strangers anywhere and everywhere? Yes it has sort of made me think twice every time I plan to wear something different and unique, but at the end I am not going to change myself for the society we live in and I hope you aren't too. People's eyes and what they see you as isn't the end of the world, you matter.

I strongly and firmly believe that everyone deserves a right to dress up the way they want to and lets not take this to the supposedly skimpy dressing which all rapists blame, because that would call for an entire article in itself. Maybe someone should do something about this, but maybe nothing can be done. After all the on looker will protest that they have the right to look and the dresser will say she has the right to dress. So at the end what does it all come down to?

Maybe ignoring them? Or maybe enlightening these people that its rude to stare like that. But I think neither one is a permanent solution to anything? After all how much can one ignore? And who all can we gather and enlighten? Some things are just never ending, and I guess this is one such problem for us fashion bloggers/style lovers.

But as I always believe, do what you want to, and if you really want it, nothing can stop you. Maybe play dress up at home, or boldly walk out and give an I-don't-care-look to them, it might just work. 

What do you think? Have you faced something similar? 


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Love,
Sonshu

P.S: Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, so are you.



20 comments:

  1. Good questions raised here hon. Though there's something that might be of interest to you; that happens even in the West, in the UK, in other parts of Europe, etc. So I don't think this is something that is India-Centric or Asia-Centric, even, but more so human-centric.

    Human beings will always have a comment/opinion/thought-formulated about anything (or anyone) that doesn't subscribe to the status quo. And it is this innate nature of ours that probably inspires such events.

    I don't know if this is a question of individual freedom, or just the need to have a paradigm shift. What do you think?

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  2. It works.. and when it does, one does feel relieved from the inside. Relieved from the bad habit of constantly giving a damn about people.

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  3. We face this situation so many times! It used to feel really weird before...but kind of getting used to it now. Coz we really cannot compromise on what we want to and love to wear!
    Lets just take those stares as compliments, what say? ;)

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  4. Sonshu,

    I agree with you that everyone should have own choice how to dress or what to wear. Only factor to be kept in mind is that dress should be appropriate to occasion. However I do feel that one should also be careful of certain acceptable limits, like low waist jeans should be worn with sufficiently long top so as not to unnecessary expose unwanted view at times.

    Take care

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  5. Yes, I think I have experienced this in the past, but that sort of comes with the territory of being an individual, right? Style is subjective so sometimes people will like it and sometimes they won't, but the beauty of style is that it is also individual. You do (and wear) what makes you feel happy.

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  6. I agree with you Sonshu. It looks more odd when someone who herself/himself believes in style or fashion or raises eyebrows and frowns after spotting someone else who does not fall in to their category of styling. Anyways, loved your post. I am glad I found your blog. <3

    Will keep visiting. Thanks.

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  7. @Miffalicious: Absolutely adore your response. Agreeeeeee.

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  8. @IdoIdo: Yes yes. Completely believe in that.

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  9. @chp_dzn: Glad to know Im not the only one. :) Definitely girls.

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  10. @Jack: I do agree with you on that, but then again its subjective maybe?

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  11. @Cheryl: Yes, completely nodding on what you said. Yessir.

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  12. @Shopingaholic: Thanks for stopping by, and leaving a lovely comment! Do return.

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  13. You read my mind and put it down here :o Being a fellow Bangalorean, I know how it sucks! Damn! You try color blocking and wear a pastel yellow legging and a blue kurti, they'll still stare at you :| Even if you cover yourself top down, or wear a bikini, they'll still stare >.< And who? The girls!! Forget dressing, even a side braid/bun will get you equal stares. Its like all the fashion statements are to be locked to the corner of the room for OOTD posts. Did I mention? Clicking OOTD posts outside is a PAIN! Argh! :@ Is there even a solution to this?
    Wonderful write up Sonshu :) Missed reading your posts. Planning to sit back and read all the missed ones :*
    Love,
    Namita <3

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  14. @LIAF: Ah. Wow, someone who entirely agrees with me. yessir! :) Completely true. You said it too girl. Thanks for stopping by!

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  15. I agree with you girl. Please do chekout my blog, i have just started out.
    http://allthingsdesirable.blogspot.in/

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  16. touched by your post !! was telling my mom today that even in worst of conditions i never want to travel in sleeper class again is not because of my discomfort, but because of the curious stares . .. i have been followed by head turns of 180 degrees just when i was wearing sleeveless top !!!
    but the dogma of our society is that we learn to accept it !! even eve-teases bores no ground for sturdy reciprocation, forget stares... all we can do is 'pray' for a better country someday !!!

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  17. Congrats for getting picked up for Blogadda's Tangy Tues Picks! True! People seem to be more interested in what others wear!!

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  18. @Dr Rashmi: Exactly, and hope for the best of course!

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